


Aint Nothin's Changed

by masterroadtripper



Series: Life At Lightning Flats [1]
Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26548384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper
Summary: Fourteen years after their summer together on Brokeback Mountain, Ennis is a farmhand on the Twist Ranch in Lightning Flats.  He and Jack head into town for supplies and see in the newspaper something that will change their lives forever.[Set February 1977]
Relationships: Ennis Del Mar/Jack Twist
Series: Life At Lightning Flats [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939537
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





	Aint Nothin's Changed

**February 1977**

Ennis stuffed his gloved hands between his thighs and hoped that they started warming up soon. Looking out the window of Jack’s two-tone truck, he watched snow banks fly past on the one and a half lane gravel highway that the Twist Ranch lay at the end of.

“Why’s it gotta be so damn cold?” Jack muttered to himself, mitten-clad hands gripping the steering wheel of his truck as they headed towards the small town of Lightning Flats. A list of groceries tucked into the pocket of Ennis’s old sheep jacket, the two of them agreed to leave Jack’s mother at home for this expedition. If Jack’s truck broke down, they could wait around in the cold for a lot longer than Eleanor Twist could.

“Is February Jack,” Ennis grumbled, wondering how long it would be until the Twist Ranch was able to pull in enough money for him to get the parts to fix the heater in Jack’s old truck. Probably wouldn’t be until calving season again, when they were able to sell off a couple of the young to make back the money they always lost during the winter.

“I know that, is jus’, it aint usually this cold, ya know?” Jack said as he clicked on his turn light, steering them onto a paved highway and one more curve closer to Lightning Flats.

“I know,” Ennis muttered, pulling his hands out from between his thighs and bringing them to his mouth. Puffing hot air onto them, he wondered where his actual winter mitts had gotten to and why he had decided to wear his work gloves.

“Ya know, my da would always said tha’ a cold winter meant good, strong calves come spring,” Jack said, his grip on the steering wheel loosening significantly now that they were on an actual plowed road.

“Hope so,” Ennis replied, knowing not to contradict Jack.

He’d lived on the Twist Ranch with Jack and his mother since John Twist passed back in ‘64 and in the year between leaving Brokeback Mountain and moving out to Lightning Flats, he hadn’t gotten the chance to meet Jack’s father.

Ennis didn’t know how to feel about John Twist. From the stories that Jack would tell him, late at night when he’d wake up in a fit, he didn’t seem like a nice man. But then he heard other sides to the same stories from Eleanor and Ennis suddenly wouldn’t know what to think.

In the thirteen years that he’d been out at the Flats with Jack, he’d passed John Twist’s grave at the Pentecost church in town more times than he could count, but he’d never stopped. Ennis didn’t know if he could. Didn’t know if he could step foot on holy land without feeling ashamed about it. Didn’t know if John Twist would be looking down on him and Jack from Heaven or wherever he went and think that Ennis was just a right interloper.

They barely said anything else the rest of the drive into town, settling into the comfortable silence of the truck bumping over potholes that seemed even bigger than the last time that they’d driven this road.

Eleanor’s list for them wasn’t that long and with most of it coming from the McAsey Goods and Supply Store, they agreed to park in his lot and go from there. Killing the engine and pulling woollen hats onto their heads, Jack and Ennis stepped out into the freezing wind that whipped snow into their faces and made Ennis start shivering even more than he already was. He just wanted to get home, take his boots off and let his feet thaw by the fire.

Pushing through the doors to McAsey’s, Ennis following behind Jack like always, still feeling out of place in Lightning Flats, regardless of it being his thirteenth year living with the Twist’s. As per usual, Ennis looked over to the newspaper stand just inside the door, letting his eyes skim over the headline to decide if he was going to throw one into their basket to bring home for Eleanor.

“Got tha’ list?” Jack asked as he started dusting the snow off themselves, but Ennis could barely hear him as he reached forwards and grabbed the newspaper. Holding it closer to his face to get a better look at the words that he couldn’t believe he was reading. Ennis knew his eyes weren’t quite what they used to be, but he had to be reading the paper wrong.

“Ennis, whatch’u lookin at?” Jack asked and suddenly he could feel Jack’s warm breath on his ear as the slightly shorter man looked over his shoulder at where he was still holding the newspaper too close to his face.

“This can’t be real,” Ennis muttered.

Jack pulled away from his shoulder and turned around. Ennis heard him call, “hey Sarah, when’s tha’ paper from?”

The girl, Sarah, McAsey’s youngest daughter, who couldn’t have been any older than the two of them, and who often looked after the cash desk at the front of the store since she seemed to have a good head for numbers replied, “February 15th.”

“Is from last week,” Jack said, sounding confused.

“A’ know,” she replied, “Wanted ta’ keep a couple ‘a copies ‘round in case folks didn’t get ta’ see it yet.”

“So is real,” Ennis said, slowly turning around to face Sarah, the newspaper still gripped in his gloved fists so tight that he was crumpling the sides.

“Real as youse an’ me,” Sarah replied with a smile, “now you boys betta’ get ta’ shoppin’ before Ms. Twist gets worried ‘bout you, bein’ out in this weather and all.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed, “Thanks Sarah.”

She tipped her head at them and Jack started walking further into the store like nothing had happened. Ennis felt like his feet were rooted to the floor. He couldn’t move and he could barely breathe. Unable to rip his eyes off the paper in his hands, Ennis read the headline over and over again until his eyes began to blur. Then he wiped them with the cuff of his sleeve and read them again.

_The State of Wyoming hereby announces that Bill C-73, or the bill to decriminalize acts of sodomy between two people over the consenting age of 17, has passed._

Suddenly, Jack was in front of him again, holding onto his forearms tightly and whispering, “It’s alright, its alright Ennis,” in a mantra over and over again until he felt brave enough to look up from the paper and into Jack’s icey blue eyes.

“Jack,” Ennis muttered because he had no other words to say. He didn’t know how to feel, he didn’t know what to do and so he just froze.

“Ennis, we’re safe now,” Jack whispered back, starting to pry the paper from Ennis’s grasp - gently, so it didn’t rip - and to place it in the basket.

“I-,” Ennis said, making a lunge for the basket in Jack’s hands, unwilling quite just yet to let the newspaper out of his sight.

“I know,” Jack replied, handing the basket over to Ennis, letting him carry it as if he was in jeopardy of crumbling completely if he was separated from it too long. Ennis could barely follow Jack, his legs suddenly feeling as wobbly as a young foal as they made their way around the store. Usually, they split up to get through Eleanor’s complicated lists quicker, but Ennis didn’t know what would happen if he let Jack out of his sight.

Like their last morning up at Brokeback, when he went and sat up on the hill by himself, just watching Jack fret around their site. He was terrified of exactly what was going to happen next. He’d had stability for thirteen years.

From the day that he moved in with the Twist’s to when they pulled into the parking lot of McAsey’s, he’d known very clearly where he fit into the lives and society of Lightning Flats. He was Jack’s friend from his cowboying days that had been hired as an extra hand to fill John Twist’s place. He was a hard worker that rarely said anything and could fix almost anything you needed. It was simple, it was easy to understand, and Ennis liked knowing exactly where he fit in.

Of course, the town didn’t have to know that Jack and Ennis slept together in Jack’s old room, that they loved each other like man and wife, and that Eleanor most certainly knew, but said nothing of it.

But now, their normal was no longer normal. Ennis swore he could feel Sarah’s eyes on his back with every move that he made, even though they were walking behind shelves and crates. That everyone knew. The fear that kept Ennis away from Jack for a year and would keep him awake for so many more nights than what Jack knew about. It ate away at his insides until he felt like he needed to throw up or until his hands wouldn’t hold still long enough to saddle his horse.

The basket kept getting more and more heavy as Jack added item upon item to it. Ennis knew his shoulders should probably be aching from the weight of it by now, but he could barely feel anything. As they rounded the last aisle and headed back up to the front of the store to pay for the goods they’d collected, Ennis felt his gut tightening and the bread he’d eaten that morning was suddenly not sitting well at all.

“Find everythin’?” Sarah asked as they approached her desk, her pad of receipt paper already on the wooden countertop.

“Real easy, jus’ like always,” Jack replied and then suddenly, they were both looking at Ennis.

He hated the feeling of eyes on him and looked down at his boots, suddenly very interested in what was pointedly not interesting.

“Ennis,” Jack said softly, “gonna need ta’ put the basket up for Sarah.”

“Oh yeah,” Ennis grunted, lifting the metal cage onto the wood easily before dropping his hands down to his sides and returning to staring at his shoes.

“Takin’ a paper home?” Sarah asked as she penned the receipt as quickly as she could.

“‘Course,” Jack replied, “Ma always likes ta’ read the news. Aint get delivery up at the Ranch, ya know?”

“Pretty far ‘ways from town,” Sarah agreed.

“How’s your uncle doin’,” Jack asked.

“Pretty good now that we’s got tha’ train station in town,” Sarah replied as she started tallying their total onto the bottom of the receipt card.

“Will be nice for sellin’ season,” Jack agreed as he started loading their goods into the brown paper bags.

Usually, Ennis knew that he’d help out. Would probably have them loaded up already, but he feared that if he moved, he was going to lose the toast from breakfast onto the floor of McAsey’s.

“Well, ‘ere’s your total,” Sarah said, handing the paper over to Jack as Jack pulled out the money to pay her with.

In exact change, like usual, Ennis finally willed himself to move over to where Jack was standing - but not going too close - and grabbing two of the bags.

“Thanks ‘gain Sarah,” Jack said as he grabbed the remaining third bag, pulling the truck keys out of his jacket pocket.

Heading towards the front of the store, Ennis heard the shuffle of heavy winter boots behind them. Turning at the same time as Jack, Sarah was behind them again, her winter jacket thrown over her shoulders.

“Here Ennis, pass me one ‘a those bags, I’ll help youse,” Sarah said, but Ennis looked at her skeptically. He didn’t need any help. He’d carried way more than two bags out to the truck before.

“Ennis,” Jack gently whispered and Ennis relinquished his grasp on the considerably lighter one in his left arm over to Sarah.

The blowing wind had died down since they’d been in McAsey’s and it was warmer than it had been before. Ennis wouldn’t dare call it warm, but it wasn’t as nasty as it had been. He had no idea why Sarah wanted to help them with the bags since she rarely did it unless it was in the fall and they were seriously stocking up for the winter months and he was only glad that it was slightly warmer so that she didn’t catch a chill.

Loading the bags into the crates in the bed of Jack’s truck before covering them over with a tarp, they all stood back as Ennis raised the tailgate and secured it shut with the two tie cables they’d bought last spring when the latches had finally rusted out.

“Thanks for tha’ hand Sarah,” Jack said, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and motioning over his shoulder, “we’s gotta go get some more stuff then ‘ead home.”

“‘Course,” Sarah replied softly, like she wanted to say something more but just couldn’t get the words out.

Jack rounded the truck to the driver's side and just as he was about to pull open the door, Sarah called, “wait!”

Ennis looked at her skeptically. Waiting for her to say something. Waiting for the shoe to drop. The toast suddenly felt even less settled than before.

“She knows,” the nasty voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like his dad’s sneered.

“I...um,” she started, before shoving her hands into the pockets of the McAsey’s apron that she always wore, “Congrats on...you know...and...good luck,” she finished with a smile before turning and heading back into the store quicker than Ennis ever thought he’d seen her move.

Rounding the truck in a daze and sitting down in the passenger seat, Ennis shoved his hands into his pockets and slouched against the faded and worn leather, the creases protesting against the material of his jeans.

“She knows,” Ennis whispered, keeping his eyes down and staring at the patch Eleanor had sewed into the right knee of his jeans.

“Ready to head home?” Jack asked, putting the truck in drive and backing out of the lot onto the main street behind them.

“Got more stuff ta’ get,” Ennis muttered.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Jack replied.

Ennis grunted in affirmative, pulling his seat belt over his shoulder as they bumped along the main street until where it hit the paved highway again.

Neither of them said anything until they had turned back onto Range Road 193.

“Ennis,” Jack said softly, just barely audible over the crunching of gravel under the tires, “we’re safe now.”

“No Jack,” Ennis said, “not safe. Jus’ not illegal. Big difference.”

“But we’s aint goin’ ta’ jail. Never. For this, we aint goin’ ta’ get in trouble,” Jack said.

“And youse thinks that folks out here gonna see it like tha’?” Ennis said, his voice rising above a mutter for the first time that entire day, “They aint see tha’ Jack. This thing, it gets us at the wrong place, at the wrong time, we’s dead. Jus’ like them two fellas back home. I aint losin’ ya Jack.”

When Jack said nothing, Ennis realized that Jack understood.

That no matter how hard or how far Jack dreamed, they weren’t safe. Lightning Flats had treated them well, but this didn’t change that. Ennis Del Mar was still just a ranch hand. Nothing else.

Looking out the truck window at the banks of snow they passed, Ennis wondered if things would ever change. If they ever really could change. If somehow, someday, someone would understand that the way he felt for Jack was exactly the same as the way that any two other people in love felt. That there was nothing wrong with just being in love.


End file.
